Rag Mag Jokes - Revision history

Stuart: /* Good expressions */

2017-04-25T22:27:42Z

‎Good expressions

2016-03-17T22:17:51Z

‎Good expressions

2016-03-17T22:17:08Z

‎Good expressions

2016-03-13T20:31:56Z

2016-01-15T14:09:50Z

2015-03-23T14:02:56Z

2015-03-23T13:59:52Z

2015-03-23T13:58:17Z

2015-03-13T23:34:00Z

2015-03-13T23:33:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:27, 25 April 2017
Line 82:		Line 82:
	* fits like a stocking on a chicken's lip!		* fits like a stocking on a chicken's lip!
	* [she's got a] face like a bulldog chewing a wasp!		* [she's got a] face like a bulldog chewing a wasp!
		+	* shaking (or shivering) like a shitting dog!

@@ Line 81: / Line 81: @@
 * as mad as a frog in a sock!
 * fits like a stocking on a chicken's lip!
-* a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp!
+* [she's got a] face like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:17, 17 March 2016
Line 81:		Line 81:
	* as mad as a frog in a sock!		* as mad as a frog in a sock!
	* fits like a stocking on a chicken's lip!		* fits like a stocking on a chicken's lip!
		+	* a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

@@ Line 43: / Line 43: @@
 Q: How do you stop a <insert ethnic minority here!> from drowning?<br />
 A: Take your foot off his head<br />
 <br />
 Q: How do you get four elephants in a Mini?<br />
@@ Line 72: / Line 78: @@
 ==Good expressions==
 * as much use as a chocolate teapot!
-* as much use as tits on a boar!
+* as much use as tits on a bull!
 * as mad as a frog in a sock!

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:09, 15 January 2016
Line 69:		Line 69:
	The man thinks for a moment and then says "Well at least I don't have Cancer!"<br />		The man thinks for a moment and then says "Well at least I don't have Cancer!"<br />
	<br />		<br />
		+
		+	==Good expressions==
		+	* as much use as a chocolate teapot!
		+	* as much use as tits on a boar!
		+	* as mad as a frog in a sock!

@@ Line 57: / Line 57: @@
 <br />
 Q: What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?<br />
 <br />
 Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other?<br />
 <br />
 Q: What's the difference between a chick-pea and a lentil?<br />

@@ Line 61: / Line 61: @@
 <br />
 Q: What's the difference between a chick-pea and a lentil?<br />
-A: I've never had to pay to have a lentil on my chest<br />
+A: I've never had to pay to have a lentil in my mouth<br />
 <br />
 A man goes to the doctor to get his test results.<br />

@@ Line 63: / Line 63: @@
 A: I've never had to pay to have a lentil on my chest<br />
 <br />
-===Jokes===
+A man goes to the doctor to get his test results.<br />
-* Q: What's green and wears boots?<br />
+Doctor says "I'm afraid I've got some bad news. You've got Cancer. And you've also got Alzheimer's."<br />
-* A: Grass. I lied about the boots<br />
+The man thinks for a moment and then says "Well at least I don't have Cancer!"<br />
 <br />

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 Q: What's green and wears boots?<br />
 A: Grass. I lied about the boots<br />
-< /br>
+<br />
 Q: What's black and white and can't turn around in corridors?<br />
 A: A nun with a spear through her head<br />